Warning: Contains selfish sarcastic rant

I kind of hoped that I didn’t get a call to sub this morning.  Why?  Because I wanted to run.  The local trails were closed all weekend due to “wet and muddy conditions.”   But I really needed the work and should be praying for that sub call since I don’t work my regular job til tomorrow.  Selfish!

Then this week, ALL WEEK, we have early-out days at the elementary school.  This schedule really screws things up for me trail-wise.  By the time I drop off son number 3, I have very little time to run.  Selfish.  Selfish! 

I returned home from dropping our first two boys, weeping because I neglected to do something my youngest son wanted to do this weekend.  And also over the fact that I’m a selfish jerk. (It seems like youngest son is getting “the raw end of the deal.”  I already did everything the first two times (sons), and now I’ve grown so dang obsessed with running, I don’t take time like before to stay with family.) 

Are all runners selfish?  I suppose so.  I mean, how can we run without neglecting others?  But not all runners are selfish jerks. 

I woke my husband with my woes, and he wasn’t too happy (probably called me a selfish jerk, at least something like that).  That got my oldest son on a rant against Dad, to which I pleaded, “disengage . . . disengage!” (Hubby has never read my blog, so I can pretty much put anything in here – however, other family members do read this blog once in a while, but I’m just in that kind of mood to post this anyway!)

I dried up those eyes because I didn’t want to send our oldest son off with the vision of a sad mom.  We sang and snapped our fingers to Pink on the way to school.   I wore sunglasses and faked a wide smile.  I don’t think it worked.

Fuming over anything I could conjure up, I headed for the hills.  And what did I do?  Why, I ran a route at Aliso/Wood with the steepest climb.  Now why would I put myself through Mentally Sensitive A.K.A. Psycho-Path again and on a day like today?  The answer is quite simple.  When I do something extremely difficult I cannot think about a single other thing.  I did it for relief from my sadness and anger.  And by the time I reached Top of the World, I received a call from hubby who I thought was wondering where I was.  But I suppose it’s obvious that I was on a trail somewhere.  Instead, I got the message that my boss was trying to get a hold of me.  So, I phoned her up on the ridge to receive a warning of potentially bad news.  After dumping this warning of potentially bad news on my husband (see, selfish!!), I headed down Car Wreck Trail, which I think was quite apropos for my state of being.  

Though my run was wonderful, today was not a good day.  And really I’m not right and probably shouldn’t even blog.  Anyway, I raced back to the truck to make it back for early-out day and pick up the boys.  A few minutes late, I nearly got into an argument with a man who insisted that I wasn’t letting him back his enormous S.U.V. into a tinee-tiny parking space.  I mean, how the hell was I supposed to know that he would try such a stupid thing?  When he exited his car stopped in front of me and walked up to my car window to tell me that I needed to STOP and let him back in, I believe I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh.  I tried to think of something sarcastically witty to say.  But I couldn’t think of anything.  Then I commenced to sit in my truck an additional five minutes as he backed in, pulled forward, backed in, pulled forward again and again, until he had it just right.  I really hope that I don’t know the guy.  There’s a good chance.  I just wasn’t in the right state of mind today, even after my run, to realize whether I’ve seen this school parent before. 

Tomorrow, I’m hoping for a better attitude, a self-forgiveness for my selfishness and a smile for everyone, even dufuses who try to back their SUVs into small spaces in crowded parking lots.  

The atrocious water damage on Wood Canyon Trail after a storm so fierce it closed down the trails:

Running off toward Mentally Sensitive:

Snapping photos as I run up Psycho-Path:

Running along ridge toward Top of the World:

Car Wreck Trail:

Miles logged this morning:  9.85 (15.85 mi)