“Where You Are, Be There.”

I was a gym rat today.  Two and a half hours in the gym (90 minutes of it on the cycle) gave me some time to zone out and some time to think and some time to enjoy the moments.  And I decided something.  I’m breaking the pre-race depression pattern right now.  Originally, I figured it was the lack of endorphins that caused the depression when I cut back miles.  But today I realized that it’s probably more that I don’t focus on the moment, the present, as much when I’m not running.  Instead, I’m anxious about the future (i.e., the race) or I’m fretting about the past (i.e., I didn’t train enough, I wanted to lose more weight).  All things that don’t matter!  The only thing that REALLY matters is right now.  

“Where you are, BE THERE.”  My son’s old taekwondo master used to always say this.  And so that’s where I aim to be.

Of course, I didn’t break the clumsy accident pattern.  But that’s okay.  I tripped on the living room rug once.  I tripped also for absolutely no reason at all after that.  I did not fall either time.  And no injuries today!

Lastly, keeping with the trend of Flashback Friday (but contradictory to my topic today), here’s one from long, long ago, back when it was much easier for me to remain in the present.

Circa 1967/68

I still love to swing.  I don’t find many swings nowadays.  I think they’re too much of a liability. 

Accident Prone

After the bathroom cabinet crashed down on me and then breaking a glass the next day, hubby said, “There will be NO STANDING ON CHAIRS OR BARSTOOLS for the next week.”  Notice no word of me not doing the dishes!  Anyway, he’s on my side and knows how important the upcoming race is to me.  And he feels there’s a pretty good chance that I may knock myself out of the race before it even starts.  

Don’t tell anyone.  But I have stood on at least 2 chairs since hubby’s demand request, and a barstool at least three times (in my kitchen, not in a bar – so that’s a good thing.)  And I didn’t fall once.  Then today, I slammed the truck door into my knee. That hurt. Happens to be the same knee that the bathroom cabinet bruised, except the other side.

Certain patterns occur for me in the days preceding a big race.  First off – I experience weird aches and pains or clumsy household injuries.  The other thing is frequent nightmares.  Usually, they are dreams about being unable to find the start line.  Or ending up at the start line with only one shoe.  Last night however, my dreams were of anger, yelling and screaming.  I finally woke this morning at 5AM and said that’s it.  I’m tired of yelling.  I’m getting out of bed!  Oddly, I dreamt that I was screaming at the top of my lungs at my parents because they had added on an extra room in the house THIRTY years ago and it still stood empty.  So, I stormed about the bedroom that I shared with my sister and began moving myself into this unused room.  At the same time (it seemed) I dreamt that my husband and I purchased the house on the corner.  Stressed over two mortgages, I was so, so, angry, again, screaming and yelling angry, that after several months, I had been so busy, that I still hadn’t got the chance to take a look inside this new house. 

Any interpretations?

I expect the weird start line dreams to begin in a few days.

The other thing that happens prior to a big race is depression.  I don’t taper anymore – that is gradually cut my mileage back about a month prior to the race.  Instead I cut back my mileage 1 to 2 weeks prior to the race simply to give myself a rest.  I hate cutting back mileage.  I hate cutting back mileage because I want to run!!! 

Today, I put in a run, careful not to run too many miles.  I did a couple miles speed work yesterday, so today I ran the exact out-and-back to Top of the World that I ran on Tuesday.  6.38 miles.

Pointing out Saddleback Mountains on today’s run.

West Ridge, which trail shall I take?

That’s easy – cutting back mileage doesn’t mean running the flatter route.

Acting goofy at Top of the World.

View of Pacific Ocean / Laguna Beach from Top of the World.

Got one thing on my mind!!

Take It Easy Mode

SO . . . I was standing on the toilet digging through the cabinet trying to find the Buzz Lightyear towel for my youngest who was in the bathtub.  In the next second I was airborne with the entire bathroom (3 shelf) wooden cabinet falling down on top of me (including the plants on top).  The crash was tremendous.  It sounded like an entire wall came crashing down which sent the remainder of my family running to my aid.  I landed on my left glute and some part of the cabinet LANDED ON MY KNEE.  The floor was covered with dirt, plants and broken porcelain planters, towels and all the first aid stuff in our home (that’s not in my hydration pack or gym bag). 

Now, we live in an old house, built in the 40’s.  Most of the work was done by prior owners (except for our remodeled kitchen).  Some time ago hubby took down the cabinets that weren’t nailed into the studs and put them up right.  Except for this one particular cabinet.  Of course, it wasn’t nailed into the studs (Duh!!).  All I have to say is thank goodness it didn’t take me out!

But my knee – it is bruised.  And the pain actually woke me last night, and I was feeling an ache tonight as I sat down to write this.  Funny thing though, I felt absolutely no pain when I ran today.  Maybe it’s because I’m in “easy mode” right now.  Easy on the running that is.  Or should I say easier?

I may have lost all perspective with running on what is “easy” and what is “hard.”  Today’s run was easy because it was fun, it was cool weathered, it was short,  and it was beautiful.  But today’s run was hard too because I ran hills and besides that, even when it’s easy, running’s pretty much always hard – one of the reasons I like it so much. 

After some short speed work yesterday (2.5 miles), today’s “easy mode” included a quick trip to Top of the World.    It looked like it might rain.  I actually hoped that it would rain, even though I don’t much enjoy running in the rain.  I looked forward to something different, something lively, especially after my bathroom accident scare.

Easy Mode

City views running along West Ridge

Running a side trail off of West Ridge (I call these “C” trails, because they’re shaped like a “C” beginning and ending on the same trail)

A pose at Top of the World

Heading back toward West Ridge (from Park Avenue Nature Trail) – West Ridge is the trail visible at the top of this ridge here

At the top of another “C” trail off of West Ridge sitting at a bench that is obviously two low to the ground.  I just don’t want to leave the trails yet, and I’m almost to the car.

Continuing on to Cholla Trail, looking back on West Ridge and the “C” trail (on right) I just ran off

And so there you have it – my “easy mode” run.  The trick over the next ten days is to minimize the injuries at home!!

Have fun on your runs this week. 

Eleven Days, Two Hours

That is how long until the Saddleback Marathon.  I ran it last year, basically untrained and injured after a very tough year.  Yet, I finished the race, a race not against other runners, but a race against the mountain.  This year, I’m going back with the intention to kill my time.

The closer I get to this magnificent mountain marathon, the more liberal I get in my goal.  I’m aiming for sub 7 hours now.  (7 hours is the cut-off, last year it took me around 7 1/2 hours).  Some of you may think SEVEN HOURS???  And you are justified in thinking that.  Take one look at this profile though, borrowed from Big Baz Trail Races:

The first time I ran this marathon (2010), I had never gone up Holy Jim.  It made me want to cry.  I had no idea when it would end.  Since then I have RUN it again and again.  I know Holy Jim.  It is no longer Holy Cow or Holy Crap, it’s just plain ole’ Holy Jim.  And I can run it. 

The first time I ran this marathon, I took in little calories.  This year, I will force them.

The first time I ran this marathon, I didn’t know some special trail runners.  This year, I will take off with their camaraderie. 

This first time I ran this marathon, I was scared to death.  This year, I’m not so much scared to death of running Saddleback Marathon.  I’m more scared to death of not beating my time.

Most importantly I want to enjoy the beauty.  I want to have fun during the Saddleback Marathon.  Most of all I don’t want to piss-off the race director, Big Baz (LOL).

I’m cutting my mileage over the next two weeks, but not drastically.  I will probably run a little under thirty miles  this week.  And I’m continuing big time on the strength training and speed work.  I actually increased my speed work this morning.   And that was tough, tough, tough.

Eleven days!