Scared and Excited

Well, the eve before the eve of Twin Peaks is here.  I am scared.  I am excited.  I really want to enjoy.  I love those mountains so much that I would really like to make this a positive journey – a frolic through the wilderness, no matter how many miles I make.

I am up past my usual bedtime tonight without regret, because when I wake at 5:30 tomorrow, I want to be good and tired by 7:00 pm to fall promptly asleep, so that I can leave the house by 2:30 AM for my Saturday morning Twin Peaks start.

Today, I did all my errands, called in my son’s anti-seizure medication refill, did ALL the laundry, dishes, swept,  etc.  I did some ab work, some upper body weights and some floor exercises.  I even told my husband where to find things, stupid things that he’s not used to knowing about, like sheets, medication, etc.  PLUS, if it were ever an issue, I told him that I approve of organ transplants, and that I would be honored to save the life of someone’s loved one.  Morbid?  Not necessarily.  I’m just covering all bases.  He really should know these things anyway. He is after all my mate, the man I knew I would marry very early on; the man who also knew the woman (me)  who couldn’t walk uphill without taking a cigarette break and a rest somewhere in there (in my twenties!!!).  

Besides that, I worked today.  A joy as always to be with the high school students.  They took my mind off the upcoming adventure.  Funny, they have no idea what a basket-case I am.  At home, I fluctuated between numbness and anxiety.  My family was very good to me. 

My staging area is nearly complete (the kitchen table), of which I’ve laid out everything I will need (though I still haven’t picked out my running shirt).

These are the things, in case anyone’s so very curious, that I will put into my truck via 3 bags tomorrow evening:

My hydration pack:  camera, phone, gels, fluids, Glide (for chaffing) Endurolytes, Nuun tables, wipes (not toilet paper – wet wipes!), bandana, an ipod, an extra ipod, extra ear buds, extra sd cards (for camera) headlamp (plus extra batteries), lip balm, band aids, knee brace, ankle brace (both cloth), athletic tape  and a watch.  Plus I will wear sunglasses, most likely sleeves (depending on the temperature at 4:30 AM),  a garmin and a hat, and will also carry one hand-held for fluids.  Oh, and lastly, I will have a list of personal time requirements for me to finish this race in the knick of time, already typed in EXTRA LARGE print (because I won’t be bringing my reading glasses). 

My drop bag (available at about mile 22 and approximately mile 41): extra socks, sunscreen, a roller, electrolytes, gels, coconut water, (perhaps a protein shake if I can get to the store in time), more calories, more band aids, more Glide, artificial ice-packs, pain reliever cream, more Glide, more athletic tape, a bottle of Endurolytes, tube socks, antibiotic lotion, more Nuun tablets, extra lip balm and I’m sure more that I will think of last minute.

My after race bag:  another set of undergarments, clean socks, comfy sandals, a light jacket, basketball sweats (the kind that have zippers on the bottom so that I can easily pull up over shoes). 

For now that’s it.  Still to do:  replace batteries in headlamp and set watch to exact time.  And oh yes . . . pack these bags. 

Thanks so much for all your support and confidence!  I can’t adequately relay how much I appreciate you all.

My Comedy of Errors

As I approach Twin Peaks, it seems to me that I’ve been playing a part in A Comedy of Errors.  This comedy didn’t begin when I accidently threw my camera off the mountain, and the ground gave away for me to slide down the rocky slope.  The comedy didn’t begin when I took that tremendous fall running down Upper Holy Jim that my arm still bares scars from today.  No, my comedy of errors began some weeks ago when I took an unmarked trail that dumped me into a ravine, of which I had to climb a tree to exit, only to find myself tightly entangled in a thorn thicket.  I escaped demoralized, bleeding and covered with welts.  And I cut my run short.

The day after that, I thought I broke my foot, then blamed my sandals.  Finally ended up that I had plantar fasciitis.  That pretty much put my running to a halt (except for one last excruciating 22 mile mountain run).  THEN, while applying intensive home physical therapy, I stood on a chair in the kitchen, lost my balance and fell to the floor, bruising my butt and back.  THEN, just as my plantar fasciitis took a turn for the better, I caught a flu-like bug.  For two whole days I slept.  On the third day, I sipped wine in the evening while taking flu medication, which I’m sure made my illness last longer.  Hubby scolded me, “Don’t you know you should not drink wine while taking flu medication???”  Like George Castanza (the Jerry Seinfield character), I asked “Is that wrong?”  And I giggled myself to sleep. 

Monday (yesterday) came along and though I felt much better, I still didn’t feel well enough to run.  THEN as I watched television, flossing my teeth (I know, TMI), I broke a crown.  I’m waiting for the pain.  Hasn’t happened.  But I cannot leave the hole in my teeth alone.  It feels like a 3 inch gaping hole.  Of course it’s not that large, but with my neurotic personality, a hole in my teeth is NOT GOOD.  There’s no way I can fit in a dentist appointment before Saturday at this point.  Hubby says expect the pain to arrive Saturday. 

Hopefully not.

The great news is, today I got a run in . . . FINALLY.  It was a short run.  A lovely run.  A run with no foot pain (though I still taped my foot).  I had no goals in mind, except to run trails and enjoy.  To deal with my gaping tooth hole, I chewed a piece of gum and formed it around that tooth.  That worked pretty good some of the time.  But then I would forget and start chewing the gum, and that messed up my breathing.  Despite this, my run was lovely.  And seriously, I didn’t panic at all over Twin Peaks fast approaching.  Though I have visualized myself finishing the race many times, while I ran today, I ran through in my mind being pulled or dropping from Twin Peaks.  I told myself that I won’t cry, I won’t yell at anyone; I will act dignified, turn in my bib and get out of the way for the other runners still in the race. 

Rain is expected tomorrow.  Therefore, today’s run will probably be the last before Twin Peaks. 

Today’s lovely run to the Top of the World in Laguna Beach:

What’s the Deal?

Where have I been?  Not running.  I have the flu.  Twin Peaks is in 6 days.  Muhahahahahahaha.

Fearful Gait

After diligent self-therapy and constant taping and re-taping my foot, I set out this morning for my first run since last Thursday (and that was my only run last week).  I taped my foot of course, and I am so, so very pleased to report that I felt no pain whatsoever on my nearly eleven mile run.  I took it easy, ran pretty slowly in fact.  It felt like my gait had changed, almost like I ran too carefully, as if my feet were afraid.  I was afraid.  I did not, could not feel the pain once again with just about a week out of Twin Peaks. 

I’m okay with the fearful gait.  The important thing is that I got out there and I ran trails today.  The feeling was so completely joyful, it felt like I had been released from prison or perhaps a psych-ward – as if I were suddenly free.  Not a thing bothered me during today’s run, not my slowness nor the treacherous climb up Mentally Sensitive.  It’s almost like every runner needs an injury so that they can have this feeling of getting back something they had lost.  Of course, I don’t want anyone injured.  But with all my training, I think I was beginning to lose some joy of trails. 

10.75 miles run this morning.  Back at home, I took off the tape, iced and rolled.  And I felt great.

Turning onto my old friend Meadows Trail:

Running up Mentally Sensitive – There’s Saddleback Mountains!:

A quick stop for some swing time:

Goats!:

Back at Top of the World:

View from Top of the World:

Profile:

Accident Prone?

Well, could I injure myself any further?  I’m not going to look at today’s incident as neither negative nor positive.  It just is, or rather was. 

I can’t help but wonder if I am accident prone, or if I subconsciously like making the day exciting.  For tic marks in the accident prone column much evidence exists.  I don’t know how many times I accidentally kicked my father’s weight bench in the garage when I was a young girl.  I must have split my toe dozens of times – the same toe, kicking that thing.  In the past year alone, I probably have slammed my truck door on my leg a half dozen times.  I still have a scar from one slam.  I won’t even try to count the cracks, roots and curbs I’ve tripped over.  Once I tripped over a curb when I was 8 months pregnant and laid myself out on the asphalt with bloody knees and palms.   

On the other hand, I am adventure seeker.  I have always been an adventure seeker.  It wasn’t always in the wilderness.  I sought adventure in roller skates, on flexi boards, on ten speed bicycles and roller coasters.  When I was a young girl, my friends and I found much adventure downtown amongst the city buildings. 

One thing I think is inherent to both of these things (accident proneness and adventure seeking) is haste.  I often do things things with haste, and end up paying for it.  Fortunately, I have been very lucky still having all my appendages and such.

Case in hand, this morning, I rushed about in haste – a usual morning, making breakfasts, packing lunches, etc.  After getting the two young boys off to school, I returned home to finish up packing our eldest son’s lunch.  I had not yet iced my foot, and it needed re-taping.  So, I was limping.  Then in a moment, a moment of haste I would do something that would scare my oldest son and my husband practically to death. 

The paper towel holder was empty.  That’s all.  And I HAVE TO put a paper towel in my son’s lunches.  Where do we keep the spare paper towels?  In the highest cupboard in the kitchen.  My husband can reach this cupboard, so can my son.  I cannot.  So I grabbed a kitchen table chair; I hoisted myself up onto it.  Being that it was painful to put weight on my PF foot, I balanced on the chair with my good foot and leaned forward, reaching up to the cupboard.  And then I began to lose balance.  I’m not sure exactly what happened and in what order, but I recall moving my foot closer to the counter to help balance myself.  That’s when I believe that the chair tilted and overturned.  I crashed down onto the floor with a tremendous loud crash (this may seem familiar if you’ve read my blog before).  I thought for sure I was going to land on top of a sideways chair.  I didn’t land on it, but somehow I snapped one of the chair legs off. 

I lay looking at the ceiling moaning, unsure what to move first.  My back ached, my butt ached.  My PF foot was cut-up and scratched.  Of course my husband and son ran to my aid.  They were dumbfounded as to why I didn’t ask one of them to reach for the paper towels.  My husband of course was besides himself that I would stand on a chair balanced on one leg.  “We need you!” he hollered.  Then he went on about me being 48 (I’m 47 by the way, he likes to round up) and climbing trees, sliding down mountainsides, etc., etc.  He was not happy.  I’m hoping soon he will be able to laugh about it any day now.  But he did make me promise to never stand on a chair again.

My son got over it quickly.  My husband, not so much.  That’s understandable.  For a while after the fall, I felt like vomiting.  I examined my head to make sure that I didn’t hit it, and I found no soreness whatsoever.  I want to laugh at this, because it is rather funny . . . funny and stupid.  After running errands, I returned home to ice my foot and re-tape again.  Then I took a 3 hour nap, so, so worn out I was from today’s mishap adventure. 

I don’t think I’m accident prone.  I merely need to be more careful and not make haste.  HASTE MAKES WASTE.  That’s what I always heard as a little girl.  And it’s true.  It is so true.  : ) 

Pity Party

The pity party is over.  I move onward from now on.  Life is one big adventure – the good and bad.  It all just IS.  And I just AM.  : )  Tomorrow I will juice fast (and juice does not include wine or sodas) to get the ball rolling, as a way to celebrate my new outlook. 

I am going to take things as they come, and not feel sorry for myself.

Wish me luck.  Old habits die hard. 

ps.  Tomorrow I go back to work, so what better time to make changes.

pss.  I haven’t chosen my next book.  Any suggestions?