Happy New Year

It has been a rough year.  Not a terrible year, just a rough year, especially emotionally, especially with regards to trails.  Seems almost apropos that I should end 2015 with a broken arm, and compliments of the trail for that matter. 

I am not back to running yet, but I did make it out to the trails the last day of 2015.  I took the splint cast off, yet wrapped my arm because I wanted a little more freedom of movement. I fear that was probably a mistake.  My arm is terribly sore tonight.  Actually both arms are sore, but that’s for a topic in 2016 after my follow-up with the orthopedic surgeon. 

For now, I am so happy to get out this New Year’s Eve.  My route:  a short one, about 6.25 miles into Wood Canyon (in Aliso Viejo), up Cholla Trail to West Ridge, and West Ridge all the way to Top of the World in Laguna Beach.  It was a wonderful hike, and I worked on speeding up my hike speeds on the hills, which will hopefully help me out some come Calico.

Happy New Year! 

In Spite of i

Monday morning, I slept free from my dream attacker.  Much relief.  But that is not to say that I slept easy.  Not exactly. I chuckle now thinking about it.  I dreamt (it seemed for hours and hours) that I was simplyfing radicals with a pencil on a yellow pad of paper – negative radicals using the imaginary number called i (or the square root of negative one).  Whoa!  Nightmare, not.  In fact, I woke with a full liking, acceptance and appreciation of the number that in my mind does not really exist.  (Now, not so much so, as I’m left with that same awkwardness I always had with the concept).

Crazy dream?  Perhaps.  But I just thought I’d put that out there since I’ve blogged recently concerning my nightmares.  ANYWAY, after this mathematical extravaganza of a night, I lackadaisically got myself out the door for a quick drive to some local trails off of Las Ramblas in Dana Point.  The weather was super cold compared to what I’m used to, probably somewhere near 40 degrees farenheit.  My goal:  hike to the flag.

Plenty of other hikers had the same goal in mind.  Though when I reached the flag, only two others were present.  Dozens of fresh cut flowers lay at the post base.  And in an upright mailbox was a red composition book that I signed on one of the last pages.  Before heading back I took in the cities below – San Juan Capistrano and Dana Point, and delighted in looking for the places that I know well.  It always amazes me to see how the cities are laid out from above.  Landmarks aren’t right where I suspect they are in relation to other places, roads go into areas that I didn’t know existed (kinda like i).  And the number of trails intertwining below that I never see from the flatlands is mind boggling.  The ocean seems endless.  Catalina is like a mountain range floating upon it. Thousands upon thousands of cars rush by on Interstate 5.  It’s marvelous up there.  It really is . . .  in spite of the fact that there is no real solution to the square root of negative one. 

Looking down on San Juan Capistrano with The Saddleback Mountains in the distance:

Overlooking Dana Point with the Pacific Ocean in the distance:

Back on the Trail

For days after falling on Trabuco Trail, I had trouble falling to sleep. My mind kept returning to the moment of impact.  It seemed that just as I dozed off to sleep, I’d trip and fly into the floor, which jolted me awake.  I have not been having a great time.  Frazzled is a good word to describe my condition. 

And then we had our Christmas celebrations (Christmas Eve services, a family get-together on Christmas day), and everything came to a close.  Though I was happy to have spent an entire day with much of my family (my own children and husband, plus my parents, my sister and her family, and two of my brothers and famlies), I did not rest easy last night.  I had nightmares it seemed all night long – same theme, I was being attacked.  It was the same person that I could not see from my dream the morning of my trail accident.  I never saw him in my nightmares last night (or rather early this morning) as he always attacked in dark places, and then eventually, he started attacking me in my dreams.  Yes in my dreams, like Freddie Krueger did in those horror fliks.  Needless to say, I got little sleep, as every time I fell back to sleep it seemed that he was there to grab me. I woke the entire house with a loud scream and eventually decided I just didn’t want to risk falling back asleep again.  At 3:30 AM I surfed the internet until I couldn’t stay awake any longer.  And then I slept like a rock until 8:00AM. 

With such a big day yesterday, being Christmas Day, everyone was still sound asleep when I snuck out the door at 9:30 AM and headed for Ridge Park in Newport Beach.  The weather was cold, and the wind was fierce. I had to grip the steering wheel to avoid being pushed all over the tollroad.

When I arrived to Ridge Park, I realized that I had forgotten my jacket, and by the looks of all the runners and bikers bundled up in their jackets, beanies and gloves, I was gonna need more warmth.  Thank goodness my oldest son left his jacket in the backseat.  I was able to layer up.  (Note to self: don’t be such a hard-ass about the boys getting their things out of my truck!)

I hiked 10.56 miles with gorgeous ocean views.  My casted arm gave me little trouble, even without pain medication.  And actually, I was totally fine hiking this whole loop, as opposed to running.  Because, if there’s any chance of me doing Calico (and those chances are slim, slim, slim), I had better not re-injure the arm.  I even tripped once while hiking this loop, so I’m gonna hold off running for at least another week. (My next doctor’s appointment isn’t until January 4). 

Anyway, the park was super crowded with people, mainly hikers, some runners, some cyclists and some equestrians.  I think it’s good for now to go where people can be found.  I only found discomfort during the last three miles, and that was because I took off the jacket.  Since I had decided not to wear my sling (though I packed it), the jacket had provided much rest for my arm by putting my hand into the pocket. 

I felt good at the end of the hike, and probably could have pushed myself a lot harder. I was not even fatigued when it was over.  I think what’s most important though, was that I just got out there and moved. 

Route: Bommer Ridge, El Moro Ridge, BFI, No-Dogs, No-Name, Bommer Ridge.

The Run that Broke my Arm

Friday morning, about 3AM, I fell ill. I don’t know if it was food poisoning or a stomach bug but with body aches (though no fever), I vomited throughout the day. This thing plagued me for a full twenty-four hours. Saturday arrived with welcomed recuperation -- I slept off and on all day. Sunday, I awoke abruptly at 5AM. I had been dreaming that I was running down stairs. I flew down the steps, moving faster than I could ever imagine. Flight after flight, my feet never tangling, my step never pausing. And then finally, I hit the ground floor. I jumped down onto the road and ran up a small incline toward an underground parking lot, when WHAM. Someone took me out. With no warning whatsoever I was incapacitated, unable to see, unable to even move or fight back. I remember thinking to myself, “Oh my God, it is happening to me.” That’s when I woke, suddenly and with dread. I sat about in my pajamas a bit traumatized from the nightmare and drank two cups of coffee before finally packing my gear and heading out the door. With Calico 30k a little over a month away, I stubbornly refused to let illness or nightmare derail training. I was already behind. My destination: Trabuco Canyon, an hour's drive, for a long run (which I planned to increase two miles from 12 to 14).

Two pleasant surprises awaited me in Trabuco Canyon. First, the Forest Service paved a small portion of the rocky off-road terrain and graded much of the remaining 5 mile off-road portion. That made for some smoother driving and cut several minutes off the canyon drive (perhaps as much as fifteen). And then, two beautiful wild turkeys greeted me at the Holy Jim lot. A female and a male puffed up and gobbling, fluttered and danced their way about the dirt. The female, though smaller than her beau, but pretty enormous for a bird nonetheless, jumped up onto a truck (the same make and model as my truck), and landed on the hood with a loud clang that echoed up the canyon. The owners who prepped for a hike to Santiago Peak, laughed hysterically at that. I nervously chuckled along (relieved she didn't jump onto my truck).

I ran off on my own into the lonesome forest. Making my way out past the cabins, I came up on two hunters, their rifles secured to their bodies for the trip down as I headed up Holy Jim Trail (which I've often referred to as HolyCow or HolyCrap because of it's relentless climb). A fast walking hiker passed me at about mile 2.5. Two or three mountain bikers passed me, but overall the infamous Holy Jim Trail remained quiet. Ice cold water flowed in the creeks, something I have not seen in a while here. The weather was chilly, but I warmed up at about mile three, enough to take off the gloves, beanie and jacket. I took my time running up that five mile switchback. That’s not to say the trek was not strenuous -- I always find running up Holy Jim difficult, no matter my condition. 

I felt good finally reaching The Main Divide -- five miles in and I had accomplished much of my elevation gain. The shade and cool breeze tucked in at Bear Springs did wonders for my attitude. Chatting briefly with two hikers, I took off on The Main Divide at a comfortable trot, looking forward to views of Orange County on one side, and San Bernardino and Riverside counties on the other. I caught sight of Lake Matthews, and then later, Lake Elsinore along the way. A man driving his truck to Santiago Peak stopped to chat with me but I saw no others on the long, lonely road.

When The Main Divide wound to the eastern side, puddles of ice partially blocked my passage. As usual, I delighted in cracking the ice with as stomp as I passed. I felt like a child in a giant playground --  especially with all the branches strewn about from the last storm. It was as if someone had already played here. To make it even better, my injured foot felt good, despite the miles thus far.  

At mile ten, I turned off of The Main Divide and headed down the steep and rocky switch-back called West Horsethief.  I gingerly made my way, careful not to trip on the fist-sized rocks that in the past have pulled me to the ground. I breathed a sigh of relief upon reaching the bottom where Trabuco Creek flows beneath a thick canopy of trees. From this spot, I only had about 2.5 miles left-- most of it downhill and fairly runnable, though technical. I picked up my pace. I was so close to the truck now, I was finished as far as I was concerned. I ran a faster still, eager to end this difficult run and rest. I tripped twice over loose rocks on Trabuco Trail, each time thinking I was going down for sure. That should have been my warning. I didn't take heed. 

WHAM. Just like my nightmare, I didn’t see it coming. With no warning whatsoever I was incapacitated. I don't recall tripping. I only felt the impact -- my body slamming face first onto the rocks. When you land in the dirt, there's some give. Different story for boulders. There was no give, nor roll on my part. Nor did this fall seem to occur in slow motion as most my falls do. I didn't have time to realize that I was falling. I felt blindsided. Just WHAM: Body slammed against the rocks. The impact was so forceful and violent, I couldn't focus on anything, time or place. I knew that I was in a head-on collision. That's all I knew. Pain radiated from all sides but I couldn't pinpoint injuries. Instinctively, I coiled up on the Cleveland National Forest floor. Panic quickly set in. I felt like my breaths somehow took in, or processed the pain bombarding right then. My breathing quickened in response to take it all in. Faster and faster until I felt as if I might run out of breath. Purposely I slowed my breath to match my back and forth rocking. Then I gradually stretched myself out so that I lay face down, sprawled out the width of the trail. After some time like this, I faced the fact that no one was around, nor was anyone going to happen by and help. I was alone, and I had to handle this myself. 

It seemed like I lay there on the rocks for quite a while. I wouldn't have been surprised if a half hour plus passed. But when looking at my Garmin data, it appears that only six minutes passed from the moment I stopped moving forward, up until the moment I began moving again. First thing, after I got my breathing down, I grabbed my phone from my pocket. It flew out of my hand and landed beside me within reach. Zero bars. Somehow, in about six minutes, I calmed myself down and faced the fact that I would need to get up and start moving else spend the night in a cold, dark canyon. I pushed myself up from the ground into a sitting position. And then using just my legs, I stood and moved forward one slow step at a time. 

I felt nauseated back on my feet. My legs ached, my arms ached. I didn’t check for blood. I didn’t check for anything (I didn’t even check to see if I hit my head, which looking back, I can say that fortunately I did not). My main goal was to get out of there. I thought of nothing else. In the back of my mind I knew that I needed to get myself to the doctor.  Something wasn’t right in my left arm, it felt weird, it felt wrong, deep within. My right arm ached too. But it wasn’t the same. It didn’t have that inner-wobbly pain that my left arm had.

My sobbing stopped pretty quickly realizing the feat that lay ahead. Two miles remained of mainly rocky single track and then some truck trail before I could drive myself out of there. To get myself back I merely practiced the same technique I have always used on the trails -- that is, one foot in front of the other. I stepped over fallen branches, and I kept my left arm bent and draped across my abdomen. I could not bare the pain in any other position. I tried to run for short distances, but the jarring to my body, especially to my left arm, proved too painful.

I can tell you that this was a dang long two miles. But one foot in front of the other eventually got me back to my truck. It always does. The turkeys greeted me, gobbling loudly. I tore the pack off my back as quickly as possible -- like ripping off a band aid. Then I made a b-line to the only spot that I ever get service in this canyon by the trashcan under the posted trail map. With one bar, I texted my husband, told him that I was hurt and asked for the address to my nearest urgent care. With sporadic cell service, I couldn't wait. The one-handed drive out of the canyon was hell, with my truck bouncing about the road, even with the new grading. The nice new paving added some relief but then it was back to dirt road for a few more miles. 

Out of the canyon, I phoned home and decided to go ahead and drive there. I wanted to see if I could make it through the night, then maybe see the doctor on Monday. It didn’t work out that way. As soon as my husband saw the expression on my face, he drove me to the nearest ER (in Laguna Beach). Turns out, I did break my left arm, not a bad break, but bad enough to cause a good deal of pain.  I have a radial head fracture (my elbow), and my arm is in a splint cast.  All other wounds on my arms and legs are superficial. Am I bummed? Quite. But it is what it is, and there’s nothing I can do about it, as I often say to soothe myself. I have lots of thoughts concerning my Calico training, and my overall disappointment. It's Christmas Eve right now, so I am going to try and turn my thoughts toward that celebration, stay in the moment, and enjoy all the good things that I do have.

Merry Christmas!

When the wounds were fresh 4 days ago (December 20):

Two Bucks

Sunday, I got out for my long run, currently at 12 miles. I didn't get in a long run last week, so I felt a little concerned whether I'd be able to do this. I didn't think that I wouldn't actually be able to traverse the 12 miles. I can probably cover 120 miles if needed, but I may need to crawl most of them. I guess that was my worry, that I'd have to crawl most of them, and I would not be home for hours upon hours (and there are dishes to wash and toilets to clean!)

I decided on what I used to call “The Big Loop” at Aliso/Wood Wilderness Park.  It’s not actually the biggest loop one can derive, but just about the biggest loop.  I started off at the ranger station pretty late in the morning -- around 11 o’ clock.  The weather was cool enough though, that I even hit the dirt wearing a jacket.  But, I had the jacket off and tied around my waist in about fifteen minutes. The long sleeved shirt that I wore however, did not prove to be too warm for this 12 mile loop. 

I ran up Aliso Creek Trail and turned into Wood Canyon and ran that all the way to the end, where I took Cholla Trail up to the ridge (West Ridge).  I ran West Ridge to Top of the World and then across the Laguna Beach neighborhoods to re-enter the park near Meadows Trail.  From there, I ran down Meadows Trail back into Wood Canyon.  But just before I got to the canyon, about a tenth of a mile away I came upon a field with four deer -- two bucks and two doe. I tried to tread quietly by, as I did not want to disturb the scene for the two bystanders taking it all in. Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw dirt spraying up from the grown. That's when I noticed that the two bucks had locked antlers and were fiercely grinding towards each other. They seemed to slam about recklessly, moving slightly in my direction. Awestruck myself, I didn't think to take out my camera quick enough. Instead, I grew concerned that the two bucks would stumble closer and one of the two would charge me. 

And before I knew it, the fight was over. The larger buck commenced to eat grass from the ground, while the smaller one, stood by grazing too but jerked away when the other buck as much as raised his head from his eating position. It seemed clear to me which one had one the right to mate the doe.

In all, I handled the 12 miles better than I expected. I was not completely wiped out, didn't even nap when I arrived home. But, as the following days have been extremely busy, I have not been able to get in any runs. I suspect I may not handle the next run as well.

Finishing up West Ridge here

Overlooking the Pacific Ocean @ The Top of the World

Approaching the top of Meadows Trail with a view of The Saddleback Mountains

12.08 miles

1,183' elevation gained

Dumping the Data

I have been holding onto the data deep within my garmin in hopes of eventually uploading all those numbers to GarminConnect.  Along with all that data, I have dozens of pieces of paper with cross training workouts scribbled on them to add to my spreadsheets.  For months, I’ve been hanging onto this data to finally update 2015 numbers. 

BUT then, but then! I opened up my worksheet with years and years worth of data, back to 2006, to find all of 2015’s data missing (I had meticulously recorded numbers through June this year).  MISSING.  I checked my backup and was able to retrieve a tiny bit of 2015 data, but not enough to reconstruct the year. 

And so, I did it.  I cut the cord from myself and 2015’s numbers.  I’ve absolutely had it with hanging onto old numbers in hopes of updating 2015.  I must face the fact that I cannot locate the missing numbers, and I cannot fix my garmin (which contains August through November numbers).  In cutting the cord, I threw away all those pieces of paper with numbers scribbled all over them, and then I cut the big cord by resetting my garmin to its factory settings.  Yup.  I deleted all that unrecorded data.

Whew.  So, 2015 will be the year without numbers.  And that’s okay.  Because now, I have a garmin that works.  I used my newly reset garmin for Saturday’s run.  I ran down to the beaches for a cool winter run.  I went for one of my usual runs, to where the sidewalk ends, to discover that the tides had crumbled the sidewalk away.  Gone are my numbers.  And gone is the sidewalk. 

Buckled sidewalk at Capo Beach 

Capo Beach parking lot filled with sand and debris

Where the sidewalk used to end

Crossing the estuary, heading back through Doheny

 Back at home, I was able to successfully upload my garmin for Saturday’s run.   And that’s a great thing! 6 miles.