I have a chance!

This morning I ran my last long run before Old Goat.  And I finally did it.  I ran the first 20ish miles of Old Goat within the cutoff time – by TWO MINUTES.  I managed this despite wardrobe issues (I layered too much on this freezing morning then had to re-pack my pack to fit everything.)  I managed this despite the fact that I dropped my gloves (my son’s gloves) and had run back (uphill) about a quarter mile until I found them.  I also managed this despite the fact that I fell (though it was a long downhill fall, it was a pillowy, soft fall with only a scratch on my shin to tell).  I also managed this despite a throbbing headache for about five miles.  I had to rethink, “Did I hit my head when I fell???”  I even managed this despite having to dig my water stash out and bury it back at the halfway point, wasting 8 minutes there.  And I also managed this despite the fact that I stopped and chatted a few minutes with two fellow lady runners who will be manning an aid station at Old Goat. 

A mantra formed in my mind early on that I repeated again and again.  I told myself, “Loosen up and pick up.”  This helped me to remember to keep my body lose and free of tension, as well as, pick up my pace, and pick up my feet.  There’s no feet shuffling allowed on this route.  Not unless I want to eat dirt.  And I don’t really like the taste of dirt.  Toward the end of my run, I gained a burst of energy when I knew that I might make the cut off time.  My mantra changed to a shorter version, “Relax and kick back.”  Relax of course referred to the loosening up.  And the kick back referred to kicking out the back, as opposed to lunging forward.  Kicking out the back makes it virtually impossible to trip.

Now, I feel as if I have a chance!

Taking off on a cold, cold morning at sunrise:

Fueling on the run:

Up Mental Sensitive (3x)

I didn’t run as much mileage I wanted over the past months.  Time was short.  But then again, if I really wanted it, I would have run at night on the streets after the boys went to bed.  I will revert to one of my favorite sayings:  It is what it is.  As I wind down the training, my lack of mileage is really the least of worries.  My biggest struggle right now is not giving up before the race even starts.  AND . . . and I need to stop sabotaging myself with a bad diet.

With 18 days remaining before Old Goat, I’ve got planned only one more long run.  Today was not that run.  Instead, I decided on a single-digit run up and down Mentally Sensitive three times.  Yes, the trail I find most difficult in Aliso/Wood Canyons, I took on 3 times today. 

The first trip up that grueling trail was easier than the second and third times up.  But the second and third trips up were equally as difficult.  The down hills on the other hand, I enjoyed immensely, using the time to cool off and practice technical downhill running.

Going up!

Blossoms along the way:

Blue Jay to Blue Jay

I drove up the mountain again in the dark this morning.  And this time, I didn’t make the long drive just to check the weather and drive back (like I did last weekend).  My eyelids were heavy, the weather was cold.  And I so, so, so didn’t want to run.  (What’s going on with me???)  I wanted more than anything to drive home and go back to sleep. 

My truck parked in Blue Jay at The Main Divide, I applied sunscreen, Glide.  I briefly considered taking a nap in my truck.  Only the fear of a crazed killer breaking my window and slashing my throat as I slept stopped me.  “Just get out of the car and start marching,” I told myself.  And that I did.  Up the Main Divide, I hiked, I ran, I suffered as the sun rose above the horizon.

Nearly  two miles later, I felt in the groove – just in time for a nice long downhill on Trabuco Trail.  I felt good.  Loose.  I made good time.  I even made better time than usual when it got rocky.  AND IT GOT ROCKY.   Amazingly, I came upon running friend Mark R. on that trail.  I write “amazingly” because out of all the trails, and all the hours in the day, it’s a big coincidence that I’d come upon a friend in these lonely woods. 

Trail running is so fun!

Running down a serene Trabuco Trail: 

Rocks.  And more rocks!:

I wasted twenty, yes TWENTY minutes at the bottom of Trabuco.  I dug out my water stash, refilled my pack.  The weather warming up, I had to peel off layers and somehow find room for them in my pack.  With a full water bladder, I needed to cram my belongings into my pack to fit.  I broke one of the bungee cord tie downs on the backside.  I feared I might bust the zippers too, my pack was so full.  Ended up, I had to take out a water bottle and carry it.  (I drank it on the way up Holy Jim to get rid of the weight.)

On the way up Holy Jim, I was lucky to come upon a California Mountain King Snake.  It was beautifully colored, bright orange, black and white.  But, alas, it moved too fast for me to catch a photo.  I made decent time, not great, but not terrible, running slowly up Holy Jim.  The main thing was, I didn’t suffer much.  I didn’t suffer much because I finally realized how to run Holy Jim.  The secret is: Fully expect another switchback at every single bend, otherwise your heart will break again and again.  In other words, don’t look for the end.  Don’t expect the end.  Just keep going and take in the beauty. 

Warming up on Holy Jim: 

I put my hands on my hips at least once.  And I grabbed a couple tree trunks on my final ascent to Bear springs.  Again, I was amazed this morning.  Bear Springs was actually CROWDED with people taking in the giant shade before a big trek to Santiago Peak.  I had to get a picture.  I stood back from the group, snapped a photo and one of the young women turned and looked at me.  “I know you,” she said.  I started filing through runners in my mind to place her.  Before I could finish she said, “You’re Lauren.  I read your blog!” 

Wow!  Talk about a picker-upper.  I chatted a bit with Maria and her friends (in photo below).  She was so nice and encouraging about my Old Goat training.  She made me feel like I was almost there as far as training, instead of how I’ve been feeling, which is I’m NO WHERE CLOSE.

Bear Springs:

I took off rested on The Main Divide back toward Blue Jay, noticing cougar tracks in far too many places.  They were small tracks, but much too big for a bobcat.  They probably belonged to a juvenile.  I’ve seen cougar tracks on occasion, especially on Harding Truck Trail, but never on this trail. 

The remainder of this 21 mile run was a grueling, yet joyful, up and down, up and down rocky truck trail.  I ran up on snow several times, using the opportunity to fill my cap with it so that I could keep my head cool.

Looking toward the Pacific Ocean (at Indian Truck Trail intersection):

I’m so relieved that I got out and ran instead of napping in my truck.

Great gain today (6,344’):

Scratch That

I’m not running tomorrow, so I can close out February with a checkmark next to my goal – to run the elevation of Mt. Everest (29,029’/8,848 m).  I ran about 1,500’ more elevation than the great mountain, totaling 30,556’ (9,313 m) for the month of February. 

As I ran those 30,000’+ of elevation, I came to realize a few things that must go concerning my running if I’m going to have any chance of finishing Old Goat 50.  First off, I’ve got to loosen up.  Loosen my shoulders, my legs, my arms, basically get rid of all tension.  Another thing I’ve decided, is that it’s okay to grab at branches.  I used to forbid myself from grabbing a branch to climb a steep trail.  Doing so made me feel weak.  To this silly rule, I say, screw that.  I will grab at branches, at boulders, or anything else that will help move me forward.  Another odd rule I used to have (because again, I foolishly considered it a sign of weakness) is forbidding myself to use my arms to push off from my quads.  When a climb is so steep that it’s practically more efficient to crawl, I will use my arms to push off from my quads.  In fact, I will do it anytime such a move propels me forward.

There’s more that I learned, and in today’s run finalized.  To begin, I have been adamantly against the forefoot strike, mainly because it irritates my neuroma.  Scratch that.  I can get up a brutally steep hill faster with a forefoot strike.  Sometimes a forefoot strike is okay!    And lastly, I’ve decided it’s okay to put my hands on my hips.  Yes, hands on the hips slows me down.  But that’s okay.  Hands on the hips is a way of resting without stopping forward momentum.

Concerning this morning’s run, though I was no speed demon, I made decent time.  Best of all, it felt like one of those “easy” runs.  And lastly, the only reason I went up Mentally Sensitive is because it’s a bitch, a real bitch! (Excuse my language, I’m just in that kind of mood.)

Grabbing at a branch moment on Mentally Sensitive:

This morning’s elevation profile:

A Good Run

I got out for a trail run this morning with absolutely no goals in mind.  I didn’t feel particularly strong.  In fact, climbing Rock It was a bear. A big grizzly bear.  But I did enjoy the hills.  They were alive.  They were alive with a cold breeze that played music by rustling leaves and swaying tall grass.  They were alive with squirrels and bunnies, lizards, and a blue heron. 

Yes, it was a good run.

Coyote Run Trail:

Rock It:

Top of the World:

I think I can’t

After working a 6 day week, I started off this morning at 4:30 AM in a low mood.  I felt fatigued. I felt discouraged.  As Old Goat 50 approaches, I realize more than ever, that I am in way over my head.  I don’t think I can do it.  And how can I even start a race if I don’t think that I can do it?

Even with this defeatist attitude, I dressed for a run and got out the door early.  I began the drive up the mountain at 5:00 AM.  About five miles into Ortega Highway, a car sped up behind me.  The skies were pitch black, the moon behind me, low on the horizon.  All I could decipher about the car were its blaring headlights riding up my rear. 

Now, I drive that windy, cliffy highway cautiously, but I keep at the speed limit.  Often drivers get behind me and tailgate beyond irritation.  I only slightly speed up when this occurs because I don’t want to become one of the countless fatalities of Ortega Highway.  I always pull over at the first turnout – even if the driver isn’t tailgating.  I don’t like driving up that mountain with any vehicles behind me. 

No turnout for a few miles I sped up, over the speed limit, I’m sure.  The car behind me slowed just a bit, but still rode me.  Then suddenly, the red and blue spinning lights took over the sky.  It was the sheriff.  His lights were magnificently bright against the black mountains.  And in my awe, I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.  “Of all people,” I thought, “I’m going to get a speeding ticket???”  (Funny thing, the last speeding ticket I got was on Ortega Highway!  I was pregnant with my first son on my way home from substitute teaching at a boys’ detention camp located near Lower Blue Jay Campground.  The irony!)

The deputy was a young guy.  I probably had 20 years on him.  Foolishly, I immediately blurted out my reason for speeding.  He said, “That’s okay, don’t worry about it.”  Turns out, he pulled me over because my truck matched the description of someone who had just stolen some pallets.  (Or so he said ). 

“Have a good night,” he said.  And I was off driving up the mountain toward Lower Blue Jay Campground to run The Candy Store Lollipop Loop plus some.  I stashed some water on my way there.  I arrived to Blue Jay under dark skies.  After applying sunscreen and Glide while sitting in my warm truck, I opened the door and stepped out.  Tree canopies all about swirled in a fierce wind.  My face nearly cracked and shattered from the wind chill. 

I could not run in the freezing wind.  Or could I?  I felt like a wimp, like maybe I should.  But in the end, I decided to drive back down the mountain during sunrise.  I stopped to get the water I stashed on the way up.  Then I debated all the way down the mountain what I should do.

Seriously, I didn’t want to run.  My eyelids felt heavy.  I thought about driving home and going straight to bed.  However, I knew that I’d let the evil bashing voices in to condemn me all day.  Then I thought, “Heck, just pull over and sleep in the truck; that way no one will know.”  (Ha, ha, no one but me, not to mention, I’d have to lie to my family, which I wouldn’t do).  At the bottom of the mountain, I finally decided some food might help me get along.  So I stopped by McDonalds for a healthy greasy breakfast.  The Sausage Egg McMuffin totaled 450 calories.  So, I made the decision to run the coastal hills without calories, thinking the 450 would do me.  (I usually don’t eat breakfast before running.)

The weather was quite cold at Aliso/Wood Canyons, but not freezing.  I took off into Aliso Canyon with stiff calves and shins, which is weird because that tightness doesn’t occur in the mountains. 

I really had no idea how far I’d run this morning, though I had planned on 26.  I knew that I wouldn’t do that.  I wasn’t even sure if I could do 5 miles today.  Relieved to just get out there, I practiced loosening up.  I practiced on focusing.  I practiced keeping my core straight.  Whenever I thought about anything, I sobbed.  So, I didn’t think.  I concentrated on running elevation, not so much miles.  (I still want to run Mt. Everest’s elevation this month). 

I wound in and around the wilderness park for a little over 16 miles.  At first I felt very good on the down hills.  I even felt okay on the ascents.  Before I was even half way through (which I didn’t know at the time because I didn’t know how many miles I would run), fatigued settled in.  Allowing the McDonalds breakfast to carry me through on calories was not a good idea. 

Though my mood was in the dumps overall today, I enjoyed much of today’s run.  I got out there when I didn’t want to run.  The only thing I wanted to do was sleep.  So utterly wiped out I was in the end, I hiked the last .75 mile in.  And now that I think of it, I didn’t even stretch at the truck.  Instead, I drove home, but stopped first for some groceries.  Then I slept for 2 hours.

And that is the story of today’s run. 

A quick pose after climbing Mentally Sensitive:

Finishing up Rock It:

Dragging myself up Lynx: