Thanksgiving Epilogue

I know for certain these two things about myself: 1) I am a sucker for a routine. And why wouldn’t I be? Routines have proven to give great returns. I am focused, accomplish more and am generally more content if I follow a regular routine. 2) I am productive, have greater energy and am clear headed when I spend very little time consuming food (& when I do eat it’s high fat, lo-carb).

As soon as you mess up my routine, with things like pesky vacations, I start to flounder. Ha! ha! I love vacations; I even think that I need vacations. Just recently I was camping for three days, and then wham, it’s Thanksgiving – which meant (besides a really wonderful time with family) a feast with desserts. One of the things that is so relaxing with my way of eating is that I can always partake in the celebrations if I chose. And I do chose, but when I do nowadays, I consume much less calories than I did in my youth during celebrations. When you never ever eat potatoes, you can only eat so much when you give yourself the occasional treat. The same with pie – I ate a lovely slice of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, but it only took a thin slice with a few dabs of whipped cream to do the trick (& even that was too much!).

The thing with these celebration routine interruptions is they need to be quick. If they are quick, I bounce right back into my routine and get back to my “regular” diet. I feel fine, my energy is good, and my weight is maintained, and even overall on the downward trend (which is my wish). I know that quick interruptions are okay, and even desired, from experience. But I have been watching (& very closely!). And this is what I have found: my diet affects my mental condition. Note that diet and routine are very closely related. When I change my routine, my eating habits naturally change. Inevitably, my eating window changes and my macros fluctuate too (for various reasons when a routine changes). In a nutshell, when I move away from a low carb diet, darkness moves in. I see everything in a different light when I change my diet to include carbs and desserts. High fat, low carb, I roll with the punches. I keep busy, and I try to move positivity even if things are fucked. When that changes, I don’t want to get out of bed. I feel hopeless and sad. I am 53 years old, and only now do I fully understood how much diet affects my mood. Vacations and celebrations need to be quick.

So! Back to the subject, which was I took in a hell of a lot more carbs during Chimera and then Thanksgiving than I am used to. And that was due mainly to my routine changing. Even though I knew the depression was coming, it didn’t help me any in recognizing it.

After Thanksgiving, I had three days to get out and hit trails. I didn’t. I slept in. I got a few things accomplished, but not nearly as much as I had hoped. But on the good side, I got to see more of my oldest son who was home for Thanksgiving break. Friday evening, I knew that it was time to get out and put one foot in front of the other. As dense as it seems that I am sometimes, this I have realized: I MUST WALK (or drive, or run, or move in some manner!). I walked with my husband down to the harbor to take in the Christmas lights. The lights were beautiful, especially their reflection on the water. Total miles on this night time stroll: 2.4

Walking even a short bit did wonders, but I was back in the same funk pretty quickly. Not having fully shut-off the carbohydrate spout, I knew that I had to at least take the minimal step to get back to a routine. The easiest step was to shorten my eating window – it wouldn’t change my melancholy mood immediately, but it would be a step in the right direction. While I did that (shortened my eating window) I tried to focus in on what was bothering me. Aside from all personal tribulations that I do not wish to list here (because though life is wonderful, it also sucks to the same extreme), a main problem is my list of things to do is enormous. ENORMOUS. I had been crossing things off that list during Thanksgiving break – but not nearly as many cross-off’s as I had intended. Step 3 in getting back into my routine (step 1 being shorten my eating window, and step 2 get out and move) was to focus in on this list and start crossing things off. That helped immensely.

And then ice cream set me back, French vanilla. And I really only ate a tiny amount, but a tiny amount times two. (Oh, but it was so creamy, rich and delicious!) That certainly didn’t help the melancholy blues. So, Saturday night, I headed out again for another walk to the harbor – this time solo, and adding a bit more in distance from the night prior. On the way back up the big incline on Golden Lantern, on a whim, I decided to run. I picked a spot and pushed until I arrived, only tiring at the end (it was uphill after all). I was amazed that I was able to do it even for that short distance. Total miles for Saturday evening’s walk: 3.75

Sunday, the last day of my vacation, my mood was minimally better. Then out-of the blue (and really out-of-the-blue, as I had actually lay down to nap!) I decided to go for a run. Not a walk, a run. It wasn’t that difficult at all, which was really surprising. Thank God I had the wits about me to get out and get moving. It did wonders. Total miles run: 4.04.

I’m not back to my “regular” self. Needless to say, I am stressed. Slowly but surely (because that is my manner), I’ll climb out of this funk. I’ll climb out of this funk, just in time for Christmas vacation. On the good side this time, I was sad enough to actually go out and run, not hike-run, but RUN. And for that, I am thankful.

The Aftermath

The aftermath. There's always THE AFTERMATH with me and big races. I wonder if it's like that for others? I don't read about it in blogs.  Is THE AFTERMATH a big secret, or am I just always in, way over my head?

My parents used to jokingly call me "Grace" when I was a child, because I was always crashing into things, falling, stubbing my toes.  Little did they know-- "In over my head," is my real claim to fame.  I remember when my husband and I used to ski.  (Before children :) We were Blue Diamond skiers, yet, somehow I would manage to get us on these treacherous Black Diamond Runs. He'd glare at me "that look," and I'd just say something like "snow plow!"

The day after "Las Flores" my quads ached, my glutes ached, my arms ached -- a fatigue sort of ache, not injury.  I put the cloth knee brace on first thing upon arriving home.  I even slept in it (ya, ya, I read somewhere that's not a good thing to do -- but there's always another side to every claim that says, that's "bull.").  When I slipped the brace off in the morning, what had seemed like a knee injury, was completely gone.

But then there was my back.  Every so often my right, lower back would spasm, in between a constant nagging pain.  The spasms were plentiful and painful.  Had a terrible time sleeping Monday night.  Tried sleeping on the floor for that straight-board affect.  Didn't help.  A little worried, I thought that I might put a call into the physical therapist.

Here's my theory on the back, though, I am about as uneducated about muscles, sports, etc. as they come.  (Not really, I am a tiny bit self-educated in these areas).  Anyway.  The theory.  When I injured my knee, either from just plain ole' over-use, or running through those sandpits, I began compensating, changed my gait and my back took the brunt.  How's that for a theory?  Plausible?

I deliberated much on recovery after this race.  Monday, I took the day off.  Well, my middle son got the flu, so I spent my time caring for him, doing chores, etc.  But I took the day off from training or any kind of "recovery" activity. 

This was my decision:  take it nice and easy recovering from my DFL in the Las Flores Marathon.  Because judging by Sunday's performance, there's no way I'm going to be ready for Bulldog 50k, if I overdo it and injure myself.  I needed healing, and a fast track back into hardcore training.  And so, I decided on two days swimming after my day of rest.

Tuesday, hubby caught the flu.  I got boy one and boy three off to school, checked in on boy two and hubby then headed off to the gym.   I swam 1500 yards, sat in the jacuzzi (with the jet blasting on my back), layed down on an oh so lovely, straight cedar bench in the suana, took a steaming hot shower, then did some light weight training (plus some minor core work).  Wednesday, I swam 1400 yards, did my regular hip exercises at home and just one long plank.

1400/1500 yards is such an easy-going swim workout, that I decided to work on my flip turns.  Flip turns have always freaked me out -- ever since I was a teenager (and I'm 45 now!).  I have this fear that 1) I'm going to flip too late and crash into the wall, 2) flip too early and have nothing to push off from (no big deal), or 3) smash my head into the pool floor on the flip.

I've hit my head on pool floors plenty of times (funny thing though, never on a flip turn).

During these 3 days, I also iced the back, off and on.  And I have to say that my back feels almost 100% -- I'd say it's about 90%.  I'm also icing my right hip for a slight dull pain. My right hip is my usual problem. (But it was my left hip that got me into physical therapy. Overall, the hips are pretty good.  I think I'm ready for a run. : )

Now, back to, how in the world am I going to get ready for Bulldog 50k?  After much thought, I've come to the decision that I MUST lose weight.  I must, must, must.  It is essential.  I'm at least 15 pounds overweight -- and I've known it for a LONG time.  Thing is, I just haven't been able to motivate myself to drop the pounds.  I "work-out" (run, swim, gym, weights, etc.) six days a week -- I don't want to worry about diet.   As soon as I say, I'm going to "diet", anxiety grows and I actually eat more!  Usually what happens is, I eat too few calories for my activity level, that by the time night rolls around, I'm starving.  I arrive home from work between 6:30 and 9:30PM, and by then, I don't want to wait for a well balanced meal.  Instead, I go for the quick fix, and lots of it (cheese, chips, things like that) to get rid of the hunger.

And so how am I going to motivate myself this time to lose those 15 pounds?  I'm going to do what I'm doing now -- write it in my blog.  If I write it, I have to do it. Right?  RIGHT?  (I really want to run that 50k, besides that -- losing weight is secondary.)

"If I write it,I have to do it."

I hope so.

: )