I ran trails this morning and was so very tempted to run for endurance and push for extra miles. But I fought against the urge. I had told myself that I wasn’t going to train (in any way) until early December. I was going to rest (while running). And gosh darn it – I’m going to see this thing through.
Back when I DNF’d Saddleback, I felt pretty low. Not low necessarily because I decided not to finish the race. I felt low because of all my downfalls and general mental weakness. Saddleback just kind of showed them to me all at once – like a wide opened book. Afterward, I even caught glimpses of thoughts wandering through my mind, thinking that I should quit running.
Quit running? Ha! What then would I do? (Oh I don’t know . . . perhaps become a better mother, better wife, have a cleaner house, keep groceries stocked, play with our dog, maybe paint the house, finish writing my novels, try and sell my finished novel, read more, finally get a full-time job, clean out my filthy truck, aid the needy, volunteer more at the boys’ schools, be available more to people, in general, and specifically to my family . . . )
This “rest while running” month has really helped me realize that I wouldn’t be half the person I am without my trails. Sure, I’m not perfect. I’m not as strong physically as I want to be. I’m not as strong mentally as I want to be. Running actually helps me deal with my imperfections, helps me accept them. I just had a bad day, a bad month perhaps . . . that happens in endurance running.
So today, I didn’t put in those extra miles. I ran to rest. I ran up a steep incline (Mentally Sensitive). And though I suffered going up, at the top, EVERYTHING WAS A-OKAY. Who cares if I STILL haven’t dropped my extra weight. I have 3 beautiful sons and a wonderful husband at home. Who cares if the recession has hit us hard. Our middle boy hasn’t had a seizure in over 2 years!!! Who cares if the house needs painting and we can’t afford to paint it right now. We have a house. Who cares about all that junk. I have my trails. I think I have only God to thank for that because I was the last person in the whole wide world to ever run, much less run mountain trails. It just happened. It was a gift given to me. And I don’t know why.
An ear warmer serving a dual purpose. When no longer needed for warmth, it becomes my snot rag (Ewwwww, she wears a snot rag on her vest????):
Oak Grove Trail: