TALES FROM THE TRAIL (AND SOMETIMES THE ROAD TOO)

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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

A-Okay

I ran trails this morning and was so very tempted to run for endurance and push for extra miles.  But I fought against the urge.  I had told myself that I wasn’t going to train (in any way) until early December.  I was going to rest (while running).  And gosh darn it – I’m going to see this thing through.

Back when I DNF’d Saddleback, I felt pretty low.  Not low necessarily because I decided not to finish the race.  I felt low because of all my downfalls and general mental weakness.  Saddleback just kind of showed them to me all at once – like a wide opened book.  Afterward, I even caught glimpses of thoughts wandering through my mind, thinking that I should quit running.   

Quit running?  Ha!  What then would I do?  (Oh I don’t know . . . perhaps become a better mother, better wife, have a cleaner house, keep groceries stocked, play with our dog, maybe paint the house, finish writing my novels, try and sell my finished novel, read more, finally get a full-time job, clean out my filthy truck, aid the needy, volunteer more at the boys’ schools, be available more to people, in general, and specifically to my family . . . )

This “rest while running” month has really helped me realize that I wouldn’t be half the person I am without my trails.  Sure, I’m not perfect.  I’m not as strong physically as I want to be.  I’m not as strong mentally as I want to be.  Running actually helps me deal with my imperfections, helps me accept them.  I just had a bad day, a bad month perhaps . . . that happens in endurance running.

So today, I didn’t put in those extra miles.  I ran to rest.  I ran up a steep incline (Mentally Sensitive).  And though I suffered going up, at the top, EVERYTHING WAS A-OKAY.  Who cares if I STILL haven’t dropped my extra weight.  I have 3 beautiful sons and a wonderful husband at home.  Who cares if the recession has hit us hard.  Our middle boy hasn’t had a seizure in over 2 years!!!  Who cares if the house needs painting and we can’t afford to paint it right now.  We have a house.  Who cares about all that junk.  I have my trails.  I think I have only God to thank for that because I was the last person in the whole wide world to ever run, much less run mountain trails.  It just happened.  It was a gift given to me.  And I don’t know why. 

Smile

Standing before my dirty truck ready to run (& my truck runs and it has tires with good tread AND it seats five!):

Running the flat part of Meadows Trail toward Mentally Sensitive:

Running Mentally Sensitive was SO HARD, BUT OH SO WORTH IT:

An ear warmer serving a dual purpose.  When no longer needed for warmth, it becomes my snot rag (Ewwwww, she wears a snot rag on her vest????):

Finishing up Car Wreck Trail, so lovely and velvety green:

Oak Grove Trail:

Running Big loop at Aiso, up Mentally Sensitive down Car Wreck 11-28-2012, Elevation - Distance

8 comments:

  1. Really enjoyed these kind of posts. Nothing like putting things in perspective. One bad day or month doesn't dictate the future. We move on and things eventually turn. Stay strong friend.

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    1. So true Hank. Look forward to seeing you on some December runs. : )

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  2. Loved reading this Lauren! I've been there myself. Not recently but years ago. The beauty is I learned so much from it I doubt I will ever be there again. I love running so much!

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    1. Thanks Johann. I love it too. It is hard on me at the same time. : )

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  3. Gloves and ear warmers? Must be winter. Ha! Sounds like you're getting out of your funk. Good to hear. Keep resting up and you'll be back on track soon enough.

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    1. It is very cold here Lumberjack. Cold for Southern California that is. We get nothing like you do.

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  4. Excellent perspective in this post! You said a lot in not so many words and your thankfulness shows. God bless.

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    1. Thanks Chris. And thanks for reading. I really appreciate the comment.

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