Why Run

A week out from falling ill, I couldn’t stand it anymore, and hit the trails, some nice and mellow trails: Tijeras Creek and Arroyo Trabuco.  I wasn’t quite up to running, still congested and coughing, and a bit down in the dumps. Why can’t I just get sick like normal people, get through it and come out raring to go?  I sure do not suffer illness well. When I get sick and physically weak, I also grow mentally weak.  I get depressed and anxious.  I am happy to report that I see the end of the tunnel now.  But I have some climbing out to do, more so mentally than physically.  I’m just coming around to being okay with myself, opposed to the self-loathing that attacks alongside physical illness. 

Of course, I second guessed whether I should hit the trails this past Thursday.  A boy from long ago named Tim Cammack came to mind.   I went to school with Tim Cammack, oh more than thirty years ago.  He was a super star cross country runner in high school – a true super star.  He was also a nice guy.  He fell ill with the flu, for about a week, perhaps longer, then went out for a run one afternoon, not fully-recovered.  He never came back.  Tim died running.  Everyone said that he was too weak still to run.  His death was a big blow to the community.  People questioned again and again, “Why did Tim run when he was not well enough?”  I do not know how sick Tim was.  But I probably understand why he ran.  He may have ran because he had to run.  Maybe he wanted himself back, maybe he was tired of being weak, or he was afraid of losing ground, losing some of his endurance.  Maybe he wanted to escape himself and experience the now, and leave all that weakness behind in bed.   Maybe he just wanted to feel better. 

That’s why I hit the trails on Thursday.  I wanted to feel better.  I ran 9 miles along Arroyo Trabuco.  It was laborious, much more so than usual.  And I tired easily.  I didn’t push myself at all.  I merely ran lackadaisically (more so than usual ).  Good news is, I felt better.   But it didn’t help push the illness out of body quicker.  I am still sick.  Regardless, I got time to reflect on things, put my life in perspective.  I remembered Tim.  I remembered his good friends, one whom I became friends with in college.  It was good to think about old times.  And it was good to reflect on why we do the things we do, and how time goes on and that we heal, and we remember, and we learn.  I like that.

Thursday’s run:

No Grief

I sweated through the night and woke with a sore throat.  Shhhhhhh.  Don’t tell anyone.  When I run with a sore throat, I pretty much ALWAYS get sicker.  But I HAD to run this morning because I’m not sure when I’m going to run next.  You see, I am chaperoning our oldest son’s middle school orchestra on a trip up north.  I get to share a suite with a stranger and monitor and make sure my group (4 boys) have among other things, their dress shirts buttoned correctly, the right size cummerbunds and lights turned off at the signified time.  I highly doubt that I’ll get a run in on this upcoming trip. 

Back to this morning’s run.  The skies were blue, the weather HOT – a lovely hot.  I ran through Wood Canyon first, and I ran through Wood Canyon last on an out-and-back to Top of the World at Aliso/Wood Canyons.   The canyon as usual felt like an oven.  I’m so ready for heat training, so I took it head on.  The ridge as usual gave me a welcomed relief with cool breezes.   I felt strong the entire 14.71 miles and I did my fluids perfect once again!  Yay.  Here’s to re-filling even when I don’t think I need it. 

By the time I left for work this afternoon, I was feeling the effect of my deed.  And I pretended that I just suddenly got ill.  If I hadn’t been deceitful, I would have gotten grief from the family over running.  And I want NO GRIEF over running.

And such is life.

If I am super-duper lucky, perhaps I will get well over night.  Then I can fit in one more run before the trip.  Can a girl be that lucky?

Out-and-Back to Top of the World

On Aliso / Creek Trail which is paved for the first 3/4 mi.:

Wood Canyon:

Running up Cholla Trail:

West Ridge:

Top of the World:

I Am A Bad Girl I Am

Last Friday I put in some hard time at the gym.  I really pushed it.  Back at home, I felt a little weak and merely thought I was low on calories from my workout.  After a glass of carrot juice and some Campbell’s soup, I felt worse.  That was the beginning of the end.

I suffered with the stomach flu for more than three days (thankfully, our youngest son only suffered less than 12 hours – that got me optimistic, but no such luck for me).  I was weak, lacking calories (as anything that went in came out, so I gave up on calories early on).  My muscles ached, I shivered with chills, I burned up with fever.  I slept.   My stomach was so torn up, I agonized in pain.  My legs throbbed, I mean throbbed similar to contractions when I birthed our first son.  My calves felt like frozen stone, like if you were to take a board to them they would shatter to pieces. 

Did I mention that I was miserable? 

Yet each night I hoped by morning I’d feel good enough to run. 

Monday came along, and I felt much, much better.  Lacking calories for so long, I drank a glass of carrot juice and then the big mistake, a glass of orange juice.  Talk about pain.  I refrained from food the remainder of the day with hopes of running dashed upon the rocks.  By Monday afternoon, I felt  much better.  But my temperament hadn’t returned (that is my calm, patient self – ha, ha).  And when our middle son “threw a fit” after school on the playgrounds and ran off, I let him get a good distance, then took off at my fastest speed and ran him down.  Yes, I caught him, but I was breathless.  And as he tried to squirm away from me, I gripped his arm while chatting with a girlfriend and stood on his foot.  Well, he squirmed out of his shoe and I about lost my mind.  Like a child, I picked up his shoe, threw it across the schoolyard and walked away and chatted with my friend until my husband arrived. 

A PAINFUL RELAPSE (that I probably well deserved) attacked as I drove off to an afternoon sub-position.  The evening was practically unbearable.  Though I smiled.  Really, I did.  When I arrived home I went straight to bed, shameful over my lack of patience with my son and moping over the fact that I was still ill.

This morning I woke pretty much pain free.  I had no fever and I was careful what I consumed.   With one piece of toast and a glass of carrot juice I got the boys off to school with much patience, and packed for a run.  When my oldest saw me packing, he exclaimed, “Oh My G**!!  I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE RUNNING WHEN YOU’RE SICK.”

“I’m not sick,” I insisted as he ran off hollering, “Dad!  Dad!  MOM’S RUNNING!” 

I tell no lie.

Thankfully, my husband is very good to never stand in my way.  He’ll give me his advice, but he never forbids his wife anything.  With worry in his voice, he said, “Please don’t over do it.”

So, today, glory be to God, I finally hit the trails!!!  I tired easily however, I was unsure whether it was the illness or the fact that I hadn’t run since Thanksgiving.  I decided on a “shorter” loop than usual, but still wanted a climb to Top of the World.  I chose Meadows Trail. 

Sweating more than usual, I gave myself permission to rest when I felt like it, that is STOP and rest.  Still, I found it difficult to do.  I did stop and rest twice on the way up Meadows Trail.  I honestly can’t tell you if I was sick, but in my heart I knew that I probably should have rested in bed today.  I can also honestly say that I didn’t care.  I wanted to run!

About to make the run up Meadows Trail:

View climbing Meadows of lower Meadows and Aliso Creek Trail:

By the time I reached the top of Meadows, I felt pretty dang warm.  It was time to layer down.   I needed to make my decision now.  If I was sick, I needed to turn around, make this run an out-and-back for about six miles total.  If I was well, I would continue on for a nine plus mile run. 

Honestly, I couldn’t truly tell.  I wasn’t sick-sick.  But I was more tired than I would have normally been after such a trek.  And so, I continued onward to TOP OF THE WORLD.

View of Saddleback Mountains from top of Meadows Trail:

Standing at top of Meadows, Pacific Ocean in background:

In the park at Top of the World, I took out my phone to check for messages and noticed the time was one hour later than I thought.  That’s when it dawned on me that TODAY WAS LATE-IN DAY FOR MY OLDEST SON.  I dropped him off an hour later than usual, which meant that I hit the trails an hour later than I thought, which meant that I had only an hour to make it from Top of the World to my car.  I had never done that.  I have never even made it from Mathis (a good mile away) to my car in an hour. 

Last thing I wanted to do was cause any trouble over this run.  I didn’t want to arrive late picking up our youngest sons.  I didn’t want to phone my husband or anyone else for help.  And so I ran my butt off.  On the day that I really shouldn’t have pushed, I PUSHED the last 4 1/2 miles. 

And then toward the very end, I saw this and I had to stop to take a photo (a blue heron on Aliso Creek Trail):

I was so wiped out, I thought to myself that I’d just drive like a mad woman to make it in time to pick up the boys.  Turns out, surprise of all surprises, I made it in less than an hour to my truck.  I ran from Top of the World to my truck in about 52 minutes.  And after working this afternoon, I still feel pretty good.  Not perfectly well.  But I can eat and I don’t ache. 

All is well in the world right now for this trail runner, because today, she finally got to run!

Miles run:  9.21

I don’t think I’m cut out for the heat : (

Friday morning I woke from a race dream.  As usual (in dreamland) I was running late picking up my bib, where I learned that this was a nude trail/mud run.  (Where I’d put my bib, I have no recollection).  Reluctantly, I stripped down and ran off late to the Start Line, apprehensive about my nudity.  While I was running I noticed not everyone ran this race nude, in fact, very few runners were naked.  Some, especially the women, ran in shorts but with no shirts, and some runners were fully clothed.  Then someone told me, “No!  It’s Clothing Optional’.”  I was not happy.

So, Friday I got out on the trail in my waking life, late as usual (since the boys went back to school getting out early is tough.)  Thing is, we’re still in the midst of a heat wave, and 10 AM is way too late to begin a trail run. But I had this great idea.  I was going to stay in the canyon and avoid the heat on Friday – forget that oven along the ridge.  I was going to keep cool.  Really cool.

Ha!  I felt overheated the first 1.5 miles in – Aliso Creek Trail which has virtually no shade.  My right glute felt pretty tight and my throat was sore.  But I was determined to make this trail run.  I need to get back into training.  (Wait.  I don’t need to.  I want to – I’m just a little crazy with this “need” thing right now.)

I laid on the picnic table at Wood Canyon Trail to stretch that glute (figure 4 stretch) and I couldn’t even keep a hold of my legs, my hands and legs were so slippery with sweat.  Later, that ibuprofen I took for my throat ended up helping with the glute too.

Wood Canyon, a beauty, but hot as heck

Finally approaching much needed shade on Wood Canyon Trail

Determined to make this run, I put my head down and plowed through it.  And then it started happening again.  I couldn’t cool down.  And I was hydrating all the while (with Nuun tablets too!).  Taking my mind off the heat, I shot an amateur video of Wood Creek Trail (Featured Trail video below), and got to enjoy some cool, breezeless shade for a short while. 

A Baby snake, as I ran onto Wood Creek Trail (probably a gopher snake, its tail covered in dirt I couldn’t see rattles, but his head looks a bit tiny in proportion to his body to be a rattler)

One of 2 tortuous flights of stairs in this wretched heat on Wood Creek Trail

Covered in salt and drenched in sweat, I laid beneath a tree back at my car and stretched a long while.  I arrived at school to pick up my youngest, my back actually cramping from the heat exhaustion.  After a shower, I felt loads better, but the sore throat was growing worse. 

Friday night, we decided to go to our son’s friend’s family restaurant Steer Crazy for some good bbq – a plug for those in The OC looking for some bbq with an ocean view and ocean breeze : )

By late Friday night the sore throat evolved into chills.  Bundled up in four blankets, I went to bed freezing while everyone complained of heat.  All day Saturday (today), I laid around, sleeping, aching, and sweating.  Heat exhaustion twice this week, I think really took a whack at my immunity.  Sadly, so, so sadly, I’ve decided against Sunday’s early morning group trail run (Boo Hoo! Not happy.  But I will be back)

Miles logged Friday:  9.24

Featured Trail of the Day Wood Creek Trail

As a positive note:  my right glute has not given me any problems since Friday’s run.

Food for Thought

I have been sick the past few days, and it's really pissing me off.  I mean, I really have a bad attitude about it.  Thing is, I KNOW, that's not the way to heal.  Rest, positive attitude, good food, that's the way to heal.  Not me, I've been grumbling, eating nachos for dinner and tossing and turning through the night. 

I hate to get sick.  And this is not your oridnary sickness -- this is one of those dental/bacterial things, which means there's pain involved.  That makes me even angrier.  I've been trying to let go of this anger.  I even read Bach's Illusions, which is a lovely, lighthearted book with lots of good advice that I have not employed once.

So what is my problem?  I'm just a baby, that's my problem, and it seems that my attitude is somehow tied to sweat.  If I don't sweat, I have this irrational fear that I'm rapidly growing physically weaker.  And it's only been two days. 

On the good side, I have kept up the hip exercises and the planks.  Not going to do much good fighting those nacho dinners.  But perhaps I will not lose strength.  (I am toying with the idea of sneaking in a run today, or at least faking that I am much, much better, and perhaps I will be better, and that this whole sickness thing is really more attitude than anything else).

I shall leave you with this video clip that I found on Runnerdude's blog.  It's a good one for plank instruction.  You can find lots more on youtube.com