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Monday, November 14, 2011

Warning: Contains selfish sarcastic rant

I kind of hoped that I didn’t get a call to sub this morning.  Why?  Because I wanted to run.  The local trails were closed all weekend due to “wet and muddy conditions.”   But I really needed the work and should be praying for that sub call since I don’t work my regular job til tomorrow.  Selfish!

Then this week, ALL WEEK, we have early-out days at the elementary school.  This schedule really screws things up for me trail-wise.  By the time I drop off son number 3, I have very little time to run.  Selfish.  Selfish! 

I returned home from dropping our first two boys, weeping because I neglected to do something my youngest son wanted to do this weekend.  And also over the fact that I’m a selfish jerk. (It seems like youngest son is getting “the raw end of the deal.”  I already did everything the first two times (sons), and now I’ve grown so dang obsessed with running, I don’t take time like before to stay with family.) 

Are all runners selfish?  I suppose so.  I mean, how can we run without neglecting others?  But not all runners are selfish jerks

I woke my husband with my woes, and he wasn’t too happy (probably called me a selfish jerk, at least something like that).  That got my oldest son on a rant against Dad, to which I pleaded, “disengage . . . disengage!” (Hubby has never read my blog, so I can pretty much put anything in here – however, other family members do read this blog once in a while, but I’m just in that kind of mood to post this anyway!)

I dried up those eyes because I didn’t want to send our oldest son off with the vision of a sad mom.  We sang and snapped our fingers to Pink on the way to school.   I wore sunglasses and faked a wide smile.  I don’t think it worked.

Fuming over anything I could conjure up, I headed for the hills.  And what did I do?  Why, I ran a route at Aliso/Wood with the steepest climb.  Now why would I put myself through Mentally Sensitive A.K.A. Psycho-Path again and on a day like today?  The answer is quite simple.  When I do something extremely difficult I cannot think about a single other thing.  I did it for relief from my sadness and anger.  And by the time I reached Top of the World, I received a call from hubby who I thought was wondering where I was.  But I suppose it’s obvious that I was on a trail somewhere.  Instead, I got the message that my boss was trying to get a hold of me.  So, I phoned her up on the ridge to receive a warning of potentially bad news.  After dumping this warning of potentially bad news on my husband (see, selfish!!), I headed down Car Wreck Trail, which I think was quite apropos for my state of being.  

Though my run was wonderful, today was not a good day.  And really I’m not right and probably shouldn’t even blog.  Anyway, I raced back to the truck to make it back for early-out day and pick up the boys.  A few minutes late, I nearly got into an argument with a man who insisted that I wasn’t letting him back his enormous S.U.V. into a tinee-tiny parking space.  I mean, how the hell was I supposed to know that he would try such a stupid thing?  When he exited his car stopped in front of me and walked up to my car window to tell me that I needed to STOP and let him back in, I believe I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh.  I tried to think of something sarcastically witty to say.  But I couldn’t think of anything.  Then I commenced to sit in my truck an additional five minutes as he backed in, pulled forward, backed in, pulled forward again and again, until he had it just right.  I really hope that I don’t know the guy.  There’s a good chance.  I just wasn’t in the right state of mind today, even after my run, to realize whether I’ve seen this school parent before. 

Tomorrow, I’m hoping for a better attitude, a self-forgiveness for my selfishness and a smile for everyone, even dufuses who try to back their SUVs into small spaces in crowded parking lots.  

The atrocious water damage on Wood Canyon Trail after a storm so fierce it closed down the trails:SANYO DIGITAL CAMERA

Running off toward Mentally Sensitive:SANYO DIGITAL CAMERA

Snapping photos as I run up Psycho-Path:SANYO DIGITAL CAMERA



Running along ridge toward Top of the World:SANYO DIGITAL CAMERA




Miles logged this morning:  9.85 (15.85 mi)My Activities Mentally Sensitive 11-14-2011, Elevation - Distance


  1. OMG - that flood is sad....this is by far the craziest run I've seen on here! but the view was well worht it :D

  2. Bah. Humbug.

    I feel the same way about my #2 kid - she's only 2 yrs younger than my oldest, so I feel like I've done all the things with them already (not true, she was probably too young to remember most of them...), and now the #3 kid is YEARS younger than the others, so we do all the things all over again and it's exciting and fresh. Poor, sad, neglected #2.

    And, seriously, there's a special place for people who try to back GIANT cars into regular spaces. It's dumb.

  3. Well, ranting is what blogs are for! Hope you're back to normal soon.

    BTW, I can post comments now that I enabled 3rd party cookies.

  4. The water damage photo had me chuckling, but we both know that if they let the mountain bikes in while trails were wet we'd have to put up with ankle busting ruts. So - I understand why they close things down...

  5. When I am upset the best thing I can do for myself is go running. Glad you were able to get out there and run some of it out. Did someone actually hang a skeleton on car wreck? Hilarious!

  6. Thanks for reading Ali Mc. Mentally Sensitive definitely is crazy, and the view gorgeous!

  7. Thanks Giraffy. It made me feel better reading your comment. I've been trying to make it up to child #3, but he is so amazingly independent, he really seems just fine on his own. Boohoo : (

  8. Tom! I happy to see you can comment again. I am almost back to normal. : ) It used to be recovery from a crazy race or marathon was physical. Now it seems more mental.

    Hope to see you on the trails soon.

  9. True, true Glenn. I find it hard to run pavement now, shutting down the trails just drives me whacky!

  10. Yes Kate! Someone actually hung that skeleton. And they also put one in the front seat of the car, stooped over the steering wheel. I just couldn't take a picture of that one because I found it somewhat gruesome. LOL.